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Welcome to the older, wiser Wilder. Podcast. With your host and Tacoma. And Irish. And this great adventure we call life. There's no point in getting older. If you don't also get wiser. And a little Wilder. Because when you finally realize that it's none of your business for. Anyone else thinks of you? You feel liberated to live your life your way? We want to talk about what happens when you expand beyond the identity. You create for yourself? Through the different phases of your life. The journey from approval seeking. People pleasing. Should do. The must do's and doing the right thing. To finding your own unique centric way. We've lots of stories to share mistakes. We've made lessons we've learned. Things we've accomplished. Central to all of this is just to have the most fun with your clothes on and off. Among the inevitable screens. Challenges, tears and laughter on this great adventure. We call it a knife. Each week we'll pick a topic and have a conversation. With the central question of. Can you let it be easy? How do you become your gracious? This podcast is sponsored by being creation with the Irish. Appreciate. And envision. Bye Nicole. Mandel foods. Listen to the end for a discount code. Just for you. Older wiser Wilder listeners. Thank you for being here. I love that photo of you with your dog. Oh, look at those glasses. I'm going to get my wild ones to go with your wild one. It's actually not my dog. That was some volunteer event and they just snapped it at me, but I love it. I love that one. I decided that I couldn't wear these because they're too much. Oh, cat's eye. Yeah, I'm not a cat's eye. I mean, they look good on you, but I'm not a cat's eye person. I like a square. No, I like a little more round. I didn't buy them. I think at Rome airport. So, Oh, gotta love that. I think I had every other one that they had. So I thought, okay, well, fair enough. What's happening. I think we need to talk about this eclipse with the Libra and Aries axis. Yeah. whIch brings us to the concept of okay well what's Aries and what's Libra. Um, you know, I mean, God, how do we talk about this without bringing in kind of personal stuff? You can't, especially since both of us have relevant personal Relationships with those two. Oh completely, I mean it's so extraordinary though because because Ares is the pioneer, like it's the hero, it's the warrior, it's the, you know, I'm off for a swim, and it's out the door, like, you know, they tease me down here because of course, I've got, I drive a mini, right? I drive a mini Cooper and it's white with black stripes on the front. I mean, down here at number one, it's you territory. Everybody's got to kind of some kind of pickup, right? So that point of view already. You know, my car is it's a city car living in the country. And, um, and some people can track where I am, which the last time, the last time in Australia that I moved to the country, I also had a car. I had a Decheval, you know, those French ones with the bug eyes on the front, 1924 design. And it had a black and white striped roof. So the last time I moved to the country, never buying a car, a white car with black stripes ever again. That's really funny. I didn't know you drove a mini because I have a metallic beige one with black stripes. Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah. I don't have the mini mini, I have the, what, I always forget what they're called. Oh, the countryman. Yeah, the countryman, yeah. Duh. Alright, yeah, well, well, it would be more appropriate for you to have the mini and for me to have the countryman. That's true, that's true. Considering where we are. It's funny, Garcin just said to me the other day, like, don't you want a nicer car? I was like, I'm happy and I'm too lazy, you know? Oh, listen, it's so interesting because my last car, was written off. It had two accidents in eight days. And both of them there weren't my fault, you know, one was I parked the car and gone to teach yoga and this man came along and, crashed into it with his bicycle, but did enough damage that, you know, it was several thousand dollars worth of damage. And then a few days later I was driving to the country. I hit a silver golf. And there's another story to do with how that car came into being, but we'll save that for another day. And I was just beyond the Sydney Harbour Bridge and this guy, a couch flew off the back of his ute. And yeah, like, I mean, totally, I mean, it's scary. And so, and this is a space where you're doing 90 kilometres an hour, right? And so, and I thought, Oh my God, if I. Continue in the lane is I think a four lane highway, and I thought if I continue in this lane. I'm going to go straight into this and God knows how many people I'm going to kill. So, you know, that was my thought within, that millisecond I moved over to the next lane. I don't even know if I'd time really to check if there was anybody there, but obviously there wasn't. And it clipped just behind the front wheel of my car. And I was fine and I drove off and I had the wherewithal to get his registration and he never stopped to see was I okay. Um, anyway. You know, and I reported it again later on, and I think they never found him, but there you go. But my car was written off as a consequence of it. And at the time I thought, you know, okay, well, while I buy, and I thought, okay, I'm going to buy a mini, you know, and then I thought, oh no, I buy a little BMW And so in the end I just thought, no, no, no, I want mini. It's the most fun car on the market. And I think it's fun and it drives well, I guess. BMW owns them. Yes, it does. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, I remember the first time my dad was going to ride with me, you know, we kind of looked at and he was like, really, but then when you get in, it's sort of like a normal car size somehow. I don't know. Oh yeah. No, no, it is totally, I mean, like, it's as almost as big as the golf. We've moved away from Libra, but but let's go back to that. But anyway, so I bought the mini and this is what Aries is. And so everyone sort of says, oh, there, you know, the Mini Coopers kind of just goes and, you know, and I drive it like a sports car. I like the sports car that it is. And that is. Aries. And then you've got Libra who's going like, Oh, you know, who fancies a swim, you know, you know, who would like to come, you know, dah, dah, dah. And, oh, and, and it waits for everybody because it wants to rally the troops, you know? And so it's such a different energy and, you know, and obviously skillfully expressed, Libra is, Swim is a great idea and everybody wants to be on board and everybody wants to be part of it. So it's persuasive and, you know, some people want to go hiking and it says, we could do a walk, a hike and a swim, whatever. It's working in that way that everybody feels that their needs are met and they're being heard. But most Libra, and it's a skillful, what they're doing is, is that they're sacrificing themselves for the needs of others. Now Aries on the other hand, I talk about, that, access of everybody comes in dependent and your parents job is to get you to the point of independence. Now, most people go over into this bottom right quadrant, which is, Antidependence, which is where the Aries go, are into codependence, which is where Libra loves to be. Yes. But where you want to be is at interdependence, which is where the independence goes, well, this is what I bring to the party and this is what I'm great at. Now, what can we create together? And that's both in their skillful expression, but that bottom right quadrant, which is anti dependence, which I spent a lot of time in as in, you know, let me show you how I can do this all on my own, as the, the same one is that if you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together. And then co dependence is, is, Oh, I can't do it without you. You know, I don't want to do it without you. Or where you hear lots of people in, um, when they're getting married going, Oh my God, you complete me. And no, no, no, you're complete on your own. You make my life better would be a better way, so that's the access that you're dealing with, with this eclipse. It's a full moon in, it's a full moon in Libra. Which is about partnership, which is really looking at your relationships and those interrelationships. And then of course, with an eclipse, it's turbocharged. And so what people are grappling with is where have I been compromising myself? Then that really is where they are. And, and looking to, in astrology and the Zodiac, it's like, look to the opposite side to see what do they do well? Okay. What can I learn from what they do well, which I think is one of the most valuable things I've ever heard about siblings is, look at your siblings and see what do they do well, and think, you know, rather than looking and thinking, Jesus, where they drive me mad, you know, look and say, okay, well, what do they do really well? And how can I learn from that? And so, yes. So with that said, how has your full moon first eclipse of this year been going? Oh, it's, yeah, it's interesting because I have been thinking a lot about relationships and and I too can be accused of falling into that anti dependent category. And when your south node is in Aries, so you're really comfortable in the anti dependence and your north mode is in, Libra. Yeah, but really, as I've said a number of times, I have come to learn that really my job in this lifetime is to learn how to be in relationship, you know, in that interdependence. Yeah, and it's definitely been a learning curve for me, she says, after 36 years of marriage and, it's, it definitely was, and even still, I do have some of that, like, no, no, I'll do it. That is absolutely my go to. And, I don't think that's so bad, you know, but there's definitely times where, you know, like who, what are you trying to prove to who basically? And it's also ironic that, you know, I have this chronic equilibrium Situation that there are times I need help. I can't do it. You know, like I can't go down stairs that don't have a railing, or, you know, times when I'm hiking, you know, where it's like the downhill is particularly hard for me because part of it is, I can't correctly assess. the location of my body in space, which is, so hard to describe, but you know, but whatever it is, it's like, and I'm well aware after 19 years of this, when I need help and often I will just, push myself to the edge. And then go like, I won't say I need help until like, I really, really need help. Although, there's people in my life who, you know, like Garson, he's been living with me with this for a long time. So he knows exiting a movie theater, for example, he knows to hold on to me because you're emerging from the dark into the light. There's usually some, some stairs, even for me, just, you know, moving, if I'm sitting in the middle of all the aisles in the movie theater, even just moving through that is difficult. So not to go on and on, but like, it's, it's second nature to him, let alone me, cause he knows I'm uncomfortable, but, even that, like it's second nature to both of us, but there is that little, like, Oh, I hate that. I need the help. You know, it's just. The way I'm built, I mean, and it's so interesting from that point of view, isn't it? Because it's about balance. That's what Libra is about, you know, I mean, and I was just looking at, the body parts for Libra and it's the back and it's the boss and it's the kidneys and the kidneys rules fear, and going downhill, cause you know, you ski downhill, you know, there can be the adrenaline and the, you know, the. Excitement to going downhill. Whereas if we're going uphill, most people prefer to go downhill it's so interesting that your North node is in that, you know, balance, that interdependence is situation and even as, as basic as kind of being able to move around in the way that you've described. This is very much a Libra thing, I would go so far as to say it's. You know, God's sense of humor or something like, okay, I'm going to give you this to condemn with. So it's okay. I can enforce things, but it's been a journey. I have actively, you know, cultivated interdependence since I was told that I was anti dependent, which was a totally new word for me, which was Maybe 10 years ago. And I thought, Oh, I don't even know what that means. And somebody said, Oh, well, I'm glad you felt it, it felt like a slap. And it is that space of realizing, oh, right, as the example I use is that even your cup of coffee in the morning, you know, it takes a lot of people to get those coffee beans to you with all of all those relationships in between all those hands that it passes through, that is the journey from individuation, which is, the Jungian journey, which is Aries is about identity. It's around who am I, what am I going to do? All of that, it's the toddler of the Zodiac, and we've just entered into another little spin around the zodiac. And then you've got the other side of that, which is, Oh, right. Who will I form partnership with? Who will I connect with? And enter into relationship with and consciously do that with, and that's very much what it's about, you know, and how are you giving yourself away? In those relationships so that you're owning that identity, your own identity, the journey from, you know, birth is individuation to realizing then, oh, right, we're all in this together. And it's quite interesting and about learning also, you know, which I've done some witnessing of this recently of where you try to control the relationship and trying to control somebody else and, and how do you react and respond to how they behave? It's like a beautiful quote. Um, that I saw this morning, which is about attachment. So where is this, This is from, um, the Dow. So it's, if you realize that all things change, there's nothing you will, try to hold on to, you know, and, and all things change, like people change, the relationship changes, the day changes, the weather changes, your identity essentially changes. And for these next few days, what's important is about being able to just sit in the energy and really like journal in whatever way you journal, you know, voice record, write, make notes, do sticky notes, do whatever and just sit with the questions of where am I owning myself? Where am I giving myself away? And am I intentionally entering into a relationship? Or am I, you know, doing that sacral chakra thing of, Oh, being pulled into it. So, you know, Right, right. But I think, yeah. I mean, it is really interesting, but this has been definitely a theme for me this year of kind of really exactly what you're saying, you know, where am I giving myself away the corollary to that being, you know, is this in such relationships serving me? And I think this is a, big topic for another day and, you know, the further whittling down of the people that I want to spend time with, you know, And it is, and, and that's it's in service of them as much as it's in service of you because it's around, you know, because where we can be fully present and fully show up, we're, we're allowing what's going to happen to happen. Okay. And we're, we're resentfully showing up. We bring an energy of that. We bring an energy of lack. We bring an energy of, I could be spending my time in better places with better people doing better things. You know, God, I certainly did a lot of that when I was younger. And, but it's certainly Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's true. You know, but, but discernment, I think is a good word, because it's, you could, like you're, you're taking matters into your own hands, I suppose, you could choose to look at it. I'm choosing to control matters for myself, not trying to, I'm, I'm not trying to, Yeah, making choices for myself. I'm not trying to change anybody else kind of thing. I'm not trying to. Yes. Yeah. Because that's where our suffering I think really occurs is when we're trying to make other people do or be differently than they are. Yes. Yes, absolutely. So this. Is the lunar one. And then the solar, is that right? Yes. With the, with the Aries new moon. What's interesting is normally, you know, you'd have, I get most years, what you have is you have the new moon in the sun sign first, and then you'd have the full moon in its opposite sign. The polar axis, for the full moon, but this year we're getting with the other way around. Why that's just the way cycles of the moon. The cycles of time work. But it's curious, you know, to sort of get that buzz of energy. And in a way it makes a lot of sense, particularly with this one where it's around. Okay. So. Look at your relationships and where your people pleasing is and where you're giving that away. And then you come back to, okay, well, so now how do I hold that identity and hold that sovereignty and hold, you know, what the vision it is that I want to create, which is, you know, the Aries thing. Um, how do I hold that? In that space of interdependence. Mm-Hmm. Yeah. It's tough. It's a, that's a big one. It definitely is. It's really, and it's interesting, you know, 'cause there's a lot to it. A lot of facets to it. Yes. So I think that wraps up our little session for today. Okay. Little, little clip session. I love it. Yeah. Thank you. Sounds good for everybody. So thank you for listening. If you enjoy this conversation. Please tell all your friends, we'd love you to leave a review because that's how these things gather momentum. And ignite conversations. pLease let us know if there's anything you'd like us to talk about. This podcast has been sponsored by being creation and envision. Buying the coal Mandel foods. Use the discount code. Oh, WWP O D. Just for you. Older, wiser and wiser listeners. To get a 10% off of. Piece with the code. And Astro brand session with the island. So that's oh, WWP, O D. As in. Thank you for being here. You can find the code on Instagram as Nicole. YOu can find Irish on Instagram as Eilish. Appreciate. Thank you too. AOL for the beautiful music. This track is called, bridging the gap. And you can find AOL on Spotify and apple music. Until next time.