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Welcome to the odor was Walter podcast. With your hosts. The cold foods and squishy. On this great adventure we call life. There's no point in getting older. If you don't also. Get wiser. A little wild or when you finally realize that it's none of your business, when anyone else thinks of you. You feel liberated to live your life? You're awake. We want to talk about what happens. When you expand beyond the identity. You create for yourself? To the different phases of your life. The journey from approval seeking. People pleasing the should do's and should be. Finding your own unique, uh, centric way. We've lots of stories to share mistakes with me. Lessons we've learned. And thinks it's accomplished. Central to all of this learning. Just to have the most fun with your clothes on and off. At mist. Evitable screams chairs and laughter on this adventure with. Each week. We'll pick a topic and have a conversation. It's a central question of. Can you let it be easy? How do you become your greater self? This podcast is sponsored by being creation. Envision. Nicole Foos. Listen to the end for a discount code. Just for you. Oh, WW listeners. And thank you for being here. So this week. We're going to jump right into us where we're talking about. I size. And creative expression. Our conversations often end up being circular. So let's just get into us and. Enjoy. My eyesight is just getting terrible. Um, mine's getting better weirdly. Which I think is the funniest thing cuz it's so bad, and, it's always been, I mean, I, I got glasses in sixth grade, so, and I have bifocal contacts and Oh wow. Oh yeah. And what do you don't put on your glasses often? No. Cause I usually put bifocal contacts. I didn't even know they were available. It's amazing, isn't it? Well, it's actually fascinating. That's when you love science. No, it's true. Maybe we should record this for people I have, I'm recording this. Okay. So, The way they do it is there's actually, the outer rim of the o of the contact addresses the nearsightedness, because I think because, or maybe it's the opposite. Whatever it is, you're, when you're looking down to read, look at the Azure room, right. So you're looking that way. Yeah. So it makes sense. It goes all the way around, around and then, and then the other is like the middle of it, but they can't handle that much divergence between the two in one lens. So if you have a, if you are both nearsighted and farsighted as I am, If you're not urgent in your size, I certainly am. And so, but even so, once one thing or the other will suffer. So that was like why I have glasses is because like to really read Yeah, that makes sense than I needed glasses, but that divergence is, is actually lessening, it's just a funny little benefit of getting older. But another way they handle that, which can handle more divergence is to have one contact lens for nearsightedness and one for farsightedness. So my doctor tried that on me. Ah. And because of my equilibrium condition, I literally could not get out of the chair. And I was like, ab no. So he told me recently actually, that more people are comfortable with the two contact lens approach than with the one contact lens. But I've never had one second of issue with it. Doesn't bother me at all. So you've got one, so say that again. So he tried doing one that was for far and one that was for close, and that completely freaked you out completely. And so what has he done now? So, so I have two that are exactly the same that has the rim or the farsighted and the center for the nearsighted or whatever. That makes sense. Yeah, but actually both, both eyes have gotten. Um, a little bit better over time, which he says, you know, it's not that I'm any big miracle, he said, like, that actually is not, but my eyes got, because I was slightly shortsighted, and when I didn't put on my glasses, I think when I was about maybe 18 or 19, I got for slightly shortsighted, like just a teeny, teeny bit. And I used to use them for driving and my comment was like, oh my God, people aren't as good looking as I thought then when, in my late, late, God, it just ages us, doesn't it In my late forties when my sight started getting better, my brother-in-law, who's, you know, always the deliverer of great news, he said, oh, no, no, no. That just means you're heading in the other direction. Which means that now I'm shortsighted or no, no. Now I'm long sighted, so I need them for reading and they're getting marginally, I mean, they're still only get two. It's not like I'm blind and, and there's a point where I do think should I laser or not? You know? Um, I mean I've met people who've had the most amazing experiences with laser and there is something so liberating about not having to, have glasses. Speaking of, to show the beautiful new case that's from Cas. Look at that. Very cool Little glasses case. That's fun. Yeah, love. I do love Pat. Are those new ones? Yeah, they're, because these ones have gotten really stretchy and then also I left them at someone's house and then I was without them and I just happened to be in a store buying a gift and they had them and I bought another pair. Are they, are they black or is there more, are they more brown? No, this one is tor. And this one is green. I'm not a monsters fan of the green one. Um, the black I found a little heavy. Yeah. Um, but the tortoise, I mean, I've always worn tortoises even from when I was wearing Alan Meek's, who I don't even know if he's around anymore, but Alan Meekly did the best glasses. I was Oh, am ii Pardon? M i k l i m i k l i. How do you say that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don't know. But, but when said first I didn't, and then I visualized like when I was living in New York and I think for decades afterwards, like they were the ones that every time. But, you know, a friend of mine always suggests about glasses that, you know, some people the glasses are wearing them, and some people you are wearing the glasses, and I almost always wear a strong frame, yeah. They look. Great on you. They really do. Thank you. I do think I've got one of those faces so that I can wear pretty much all glasses, but it is, it's a funny thing. It's like I like a strong frame, whereas other people, actually most of my sisters, their glasses kind of, they're much more, they're much more subtle. Mm-hmm. Now I like a strong frame. I think it's a great look. I, it's our designer thing. Well it's just, it's just, I'm much more comfortable in the contact lenses. Like I've made my piece after so many years, you know, which is the same. It's the same because I got glasses in sixth grade and then contacts in eighth grade and then, and you know, I've gone through various iterations, because I started with hard lenses, for example, which, I dunno if anybody does that anymore. You know, soft lenses didn't even come on the scene until later. Are they much easier to wear? Yeah. Yeah. They are. And easier to put in because it just, I mean, I never even investigated. I think I might never investigated them for a minute. Like literally. Yeah. So funny. Cause I also feel like more of my friends, are wearing glasses and maybe some of them, you know, just went straight to glasses. Like, you know, Garson never needed anything until, a few years ago. And I think he had one hair prescription, but he generally just buys readers and he's fine. I bought, I bought, when I started wearing them for, and reading, I went and had my eyes tested and they said, oh, you need them. And they gave me, prescription ones and I had the worst headaches and I don't suffer from headaches. And, um, so I went back so, And your man said, oh, you'll get used to them. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, you know, no, I'm not going to go through. So I have to get used to these. These are supposed to assist me, not impede me. You know? I mean, seriously. Yeah. But I'm amazed neither of my kids have needed anything so far. That's a miracle. That's great. That means they got the garon jean in that. Totally. I also was like one of those kids who like read under the covers at night and probably ruined my eyes that's what they said anyway. Who knows. But did your parents wear glasses? Cuz it's usually tragic. Uh, yes. Yes. My mother's eyes were way worse than my dad's. Yeah. But, um, yeah, it was funny cuz I, once in a while I would think about doing the whatcha call, you know, the laser surgery and I think. I guess I have astigmatism, but also because I am both nearside and farside, like, they can't do both. So I figured like, oh, wow, they can't do both, which I don't really understand, but like, I just figured if I'm gonna end up needing an assistance anyway, like I'm good, I'm good. Like I'm in a good place. I'm comfortable with the routine, I can wear them all day without an issue. I would say the biggest issue for me, the biggest problem is that, um, I've definitely had allergies my whole life. I don't really, so do I I, but I don't really experience them hardly ever now as like sneezing or whatever, but it goes straight to my eyes. So there's certain times of year that. Like my eyes get gooey or whatever. And you know, my, my doctor who's funny cuz he used to say like, oh yeah, it's a really bad allergy season. And then, maybe like a year ago he said, I'm not even gonna say that anymore. It's just always bad. So we just decided that, you know, like after I wash my face, I just rinse my eyes with eye wash. I put these drops like allergy drops in and it's been much better. I just do it all the time. Oh, that's interesting cuz I have allergies and it, you know, and if they, they say it goes back to some bent when it starts. And for me it started when I was about 11 or 12. No idea what happened. But I spent many days as a child in a dark room with one tissue for my eyes, one for my nose. So I was allergic. So, you know, the way they go and they do the test and I was allergic to grass, which did get me out of, um, occasionally raking the grass, but not often. And, then, cause my father insisted have had the grass being raked, and we'd o over half an acre and he'd cut it twice a week in the summer, if not three times. Um, and then dust. And then I went, so, and the, and the doctor tried to put me on an allergy tablet once a day, like at the age of about 16. And I remember, I didn't like this doctor. He was kind of a new doctor. Um, and he said, well, there's no side effects. You just feel drowsy. I said him, that won't be happening. But I think my, of like that, I don't. Do medicine, and it's not that I haven't done medicine. I'll do it when I need it. You know, I was, um, when I broke my wrist, I was definitely going. Okay, so where are the painkillers? Yeah, that's, that's an situation that's different. Yeah. I do reserve it for when I actually need it. I don't believe in it as a daily, um, Sal. Yeah. And um, when I moved back to Europe years ago, my allergies, I would have allergies every day for two or three hours. Like, so kind of in the morning, wake up completely full of allergy, like sinuses, eyes, the whole nine yards. So it becomes normal, and of course everybody says to you, why don't you just take a Claritin? It doesn't mean anything. And I'm like going, no, no, no, I don't want to do that. And then at one stage my hands started peeling, which I called my stigma and I went to this doctor, She said, you just allergic to your environment. Which of course I immediately rang my mother afterwards and I said, I told I'm supposed to in Australia. That's so be ridiculous. You've had those allergies long before you ever came here. Seriously went, um, Europe for a year, they just stopped. Like I just didn't have any allergies. And now I occasionally have them, but I don't have them, um, on a daily basis. It's such an interesting thing, isn't it? No, it's, and I mean, I've had a couple of occasions over the years when I've been at, you know, one doctor or another and they look at my, no, up, up my nose or in my, whatever it is, and they're like, oh, you're like in a total state, you know, an allergic state and I don't even know. You know, which is really weird, and so, well, that's your normal, because it is, we do get used to whatever is our kind of, I won't say homeostasis, but to our, to our, and I one, then I remember one day I went hiking in this area was, you know, I guess it was spring and there was a lot of flora and fauna and whatever. It's this really overgrown place, and I was real, it was bad. And so I thought, okay, well I must be re reacting to something. And my therapists stepfather is a, quote unquote holistic aller allergists. So I started seeking Yeah. And I, he went into psychology from that. That's interesting. Right? He's actually the first person who taught me reiki, as a matter of fact. Very interesting man. He started me on daily shots, and I did those for quite a while and then I thought like, because it wasn't so much, when I went hiking that day, it wasn't so much that I was sneezing and what, what have you. I just was really, really dizzy on this hike. I remember, and I. So, I did the shots for, I don't know, say six months or something, and then I was like, well, it's not really affecting the dizziness and that's what I care about. So, and it was a pain I had given my shots myself, shots previously for, I had done for fertility stuff in the past, you know, like, so it wasn't that big a deal, but it's not fun. And I had to keep going back to him and get the stuff and what have you. And I was like, ugh. Yeah. I wonder though, if you're, if the allergy and the vertical is connected, that's an interesting thing, isn't it? Well, I think, yeah, I mean, I think there's some element of it. I think there's some hormonal connection. I think it's just, wherever the, the, I don't wanna, I don't love the word weakness, but like the, you know, there's a little breakdown in the system that that's where, that's, and we all have weaknesses. Yeah. You know, we all have proclivities, you know, if we want to call them, and we have proclivities that really work for us. And then we have others that aren't doing as the greatest papers. Right. You know, I mean, and that's nature. Like, I mean, it's the wabisabi, isn't it? It's the perfection and the imper imperfection and it's the unique expression. That's true. It's totally true. That's totally true. And having said that, I remember, cuz I was always allergic to cats. And then we took this family trip, this is more than 20 years ago now, but we stayed on this farm in Vermont and there were, this was like my whole extended family, and. There was a cat around, I was pet the cat, and all of a sudden I was like, wait, I'm not reacting to the cat. I'm not around a lot of cats, but now Zach and his girlfriend have a cat, and Garon had never met him. So we went over there and, but nothing, it's gone go figure. I don't know. I react to some cats and I react to some dogs. I thought that that was, they were hilarious. When the woman said to me, um, you are just, you're just allergic to your environment. And I said, how are you? So is that, and I said, so what do I do? Go live in a bubble? And she's like, oh yeah. And so then she referred me to a, a skin, nose and throat guy. And I went to him and he said to me that the stigma, like the peeling of my hands, and it's still occasionally happens, he said it was simply a. Another expression of the allergies. Oh. And, and I remember, you know, you know, George, my first, um, long-term boyfriend, he could make me laugh that I would go into Antic attack. Like I would go, like, I could not breathe. I would be just giggling to such an extent and Wow. You know, and I've never had an inhaler, but I think there's probably points where I could've needed one. And that makes sense, doesn't it? Because you know, it's the, well, we're, we're just biology. No, it's fascinating. It really is. What is it? I saw a meme yesterday, which is that, hydration and hugs, you know, that we're, we just has plants with, uh, with complicated emotions. That's great. That's really fun. Yeah. I mean it and it is super interesting. No, it's really interesting. And how, you know, cuz of course as one gets older, more of these things pop up I guess, and you have to navigate it. Although the eyesight one is funny cuz I might have mentioned this. My mom had cataract surgery and then my dad needed it and he's just had it and, you know, so I was seeing my eye doc, you know, my annual checkup and I, I said I don't really know that much about cataracts, like is that in a genetic thing? And he said no, but he's like, girl, you wanna have cataract surgery? You know, because then it's like they just fix all these things that you've had all that time. Like they put, I don't really know what they do exactly, but they put a whole new lens in your eye somehow, you know? So. Wow. That sounds amazing. You're done with glasses, you're done with contacts, like for the most part, you know, because it's interesting cuz there's, cuz Rowan has just had, he's got glaucoma and just, you know, got to the point where, you know, he hadn't dealt with it and now he's had to have some surgery and. They did something, I think cut something at the back of his eye. They weren't offering him cataract surgery. And glaucoma is a pretty nasty one where, you know, it's, you take drops on a daily basis for it to keep the pressure down. I mean, I don't understand, as I always say, I'm the least medical person in the world. But I mean, but the vulnerability of somebody touching your eyes is quite my mind. It really does. Yeah. It's extraordinary. You know, and I think more people would do laser if there wasn't that, because it's so, it's, it's so tender, isn't it? You know? And to lose your sight of all, you know, I mean, which of the senses would you want to lose? I wouldn't lo want to lose any of them. Yeah. But it, but the, the prospect of being blind terrifies me, especially with balance issues. You know, it's, I, I do think about that and in fact that specialist that I went to see in Chicago in March, you know, that was, he kind of said jokingly, like, you're good as long as you don't lose your eyesight. I was like, yeah, thank you. But, um, but uh, yeah, no, it's so tender and that, yeah, that was one of the reasons that I thought, I don't wanna have the, the laser surgery cuz like, all right, it's a little bit of a pain, but like, I know how to do this, I'm comfortable with this. I don't wanna take the chance that it messes things up and then I have a problem, you know? Yeah, and, you know, my doctor agreed with that. So, yeah, I don't know. I don't know, but, um, it's just funny to me, like, it's just one of those things in life that it's pretty minor in the scheme of things, but. You know, to talk to people who've like really never worn contacts or never had eye issues. Like it's, it's a different lane, you know, it's a different lens. Certainly that Exactly. No, but its because, I mean, everything is around the context and you know, the context within which, how you see the world and then your context, whether you are, in cond yoga, there's one Korea cold, um, moving beyond your imagined disabilities. Mm hmm. You know, and what it is, is it's working with what you imagine you can't do and it's shifting that energy and, and it's very much a hand based choa, which, um, the hand is connected to the heart, and it's so, and there's an eye focus with it, and obviously there's some pranayama. The more and more the, you know, I go into things, the more I realize, you know, cause I've been doing a lot of kind of reading and listening around belief and around that thing of, you know, how we move into that space of actually doing what we're supposed to be here to do. Because one of the kind of pervasive thoughts for me in the last few weeks, which I should have spoken about at my astrology class yesterday, but it was too early in the morning. And, and that's work and, and, and it's, I'm really become so aware of my legacy and around getting what it is I'm here to do out of me, um, and the fear, you know, and listening to that Rick Rubin with the Rich Ro thing is it's around that we paralyze ourselves as creatives. I mean, and I'm not talking about, I don't separate creatives into artists or into designers, or you even into entrepreneurs. I mean, I think you can be the most creative person as a scientist, as a horticulturist, as a gardener, a candlestick maker, a cook. You know, I think creativity is in everything you do. You know, and it's simply how you're gonna express it and talking about eyesight and all of those, which is kind of a natural part of aging in a sense. But I've been so aware of like, where am I, blocking myself, where am I making stories that are really not serving myself? And, you know, and, you know, bringing that to like, I've made my living all my life as a, as a creative person. But it wasn't until I started making the jewelry that I owned, that I was creative. And I still, still sort of think, oh, they're more creative than me. And the whole way through art school. Like I thought, oh, no, no, no. You know, I'm a fake here because I couldn't draw, you know, because I, you know, and there'd be moments then when I'd draw something beautifully and everybody would go like, look what you just did. And, um, But it was when I got out of my own way, and it's amazing, but I couldn't ever get out of my own way consistently, and it's like entering into that space, it's why I think that book that, um, flow had such an impact on me when I read it in my twenties. And it's that thing of how do you allow yourself to access yourself and to access so that, spirit moves through you. You know? Yeah. Cause you know, after all, we are an organism and we are, you know, you know, we're a biochemical being. Mm-hmm. You know, and by developing our mind and our brain, we've really complicated it for ourselves. Yes, yes. And, you know, and, and it's curious like, again, listening to that podcast made me kind of go right. So, Things that I did, that I wrote 10 years ago, like I wrote this book called The Cycles of Creation. Like that's, I now have a new perspective on it, so it's time for it to kind of go and do that. And then the, the astrology books, the 12 astrology books, they're forming in a different way. And you know, and, and what they're forming is, is in terms of really going deep into the archetype. So not looking at simply as signs, but signs as expressions of what archetype is coming through you. So it's, so it's bringing a different way. And, you know, and what I'm super passionate about for artists and for creatives and for people who have the courage to live their own life in a different way is like, how can you be a benefactor of your future self? And, and, and a lot of it is because we're so conditioned in society that it's not of value. And that's such a risky way to make a living. And it's such a risky way for it to choose. And, you know, you've gotta be poor, you've gotta be mad, you've got to be, you know, depressed. You know you're going to suffer. You know, the suffering artist it's such a debilitating archetype. And yet most, most artists I know, most creatives I know would certainly indulge that part of themselves. And, you know, I'm not saying that without compassion would indulge that part of themselves many, many times. And so that's sort of, um, I'm gonna throw that out there in terms of legacy and yeah, yeah's really interesting. Oh, sorry. And I just wanna add, I actually believe, or I've come to believe that in a way a lot of illness, if we tie it back into our conversation that we started with a lot of kind of the ways that we can debilitate ourselves are not allowing the energy to flow through us. You know? So bringing that chick mentality kind of concept even further in terms of flow, you know, because emotions are energy in motion and they're supposed to just come in, you're supposed to feel the full expression of them, how contracting or expensive they are, and then allow them to leave. And if we're holding onto them, you know, we can become, you know, smaller. In that way that we, you know, we lose ourselves so completely, and we've all met people like that. Or we can become super aggressive and angry and nasty, which is kind of an expansive energy of it, but it's not positive,. And it's where I'm seeing like that, you know, astrology, you know, kind of accepting that you've got a fate and a blueprint, and it's like how you're going to live out your blueprint and how you're going to live out your fate and your destiny, and then this somatic work, however you do it. But also that coming to stillness like on a regular basis, so you can actually come back to your source and go beyond yourself. And then using the design thinking, which is kind of going like, mm, okay, let's interrogate what you actually see as the issue. Mm-hmm. You know, and then you've got the tools, the other tools. So now I'm gonna go shut up and I'm gonna leave you talk for 10 minutes. No, I, if that could ever happen. I mean, the whole, you know, the whole creativity question. I think it's really fascinating to listen to Rick Rubin, you know, who has worked with the best of the best and, you know, that's such a good place. And to listen to him interview other creative people, it's pretty fascinating. There's so much to all of this, there's just so many things where it comes back to giving yourself the space. Like, it's just so essential for whatever it is, you know, to keep the nervous system balanced, to, be able to handle what, comes at you, which, you know, we all know whatever best. And instead is gonna come at you like with equanimity to find, you know, to, to find your creative self. If you don't know what, uh, you know, if you haven't really connected with that part of yourself yet, like, I really, I don't know, you know, I mean, it's, I'm a fairly social person and I'm a fairly active person, but you know, the older I get it's just like I need more and more space. I needed, I, I needed, you know, like the nervous system. Part of it to me is sort of the topical level cuz like, I've learned to recognize like, oh, I'm, I'm two in a million directions and I need to just settle down and, you know, not talk to anybody for a while or whatever. But just, you know, and, and I think, you know, it all tie, tie, it all ties into like, how does, how, you know, how does creative knowing or whatever you wanna call it, come to you, you know? And, and you get down to, you know, the, the Claire's, you know, I have visions, I hear things, I, um, feel things. I know things and, you know, everybody's different that way. And it's kind of a fun thing to, to investigate. And I've heard some opinion that, You know, what your strengthen is in, in life like, that's where your quote unquote Claire is gonna be. So like, you know, I am a fairly educated person and I've used my brain a lot and, you know, so I mean, I just get a sense of knowing it just like I just know something all of a sudden. And it, it's definitely, um, you know, maybe secondary for me is, you know, kind of a clairvoyance, but it's, it's more that it comes to me as like a spark of knowledge and then I then, you know, could even be inside, you know, but then I can sort of visualize it. But, um, you know, I don't really, a actually, you know, maybe there's a little clear audience. Um, aspect to it too, but it's just what comes to me most strongly is like, oh, all of a sudden I just know something, you know? And there it is. Um, and that applies to just things that come to me in life, but also with ideas that I've had with, you know, my jewelry or my sculpture or whatever it is, where it's just all of a sudden, you know, I'm just noodling around and I may not even be thinking about that. And it's just all of a sudden, oh, that's, there it is. That's what I need to do next. Or I, you know, it's, it's just, and so to me that's a cyclical process where that like, the more it happens, the more you trust in that it's going to happen, but the more it, it has more chance of happening if you're giving yourself the space. Yeah. It's the roomy quote of, of what is it? Maybe winter and all is quiet on the earth, but there's chaos down there, you know? And again, that I think is the patience that we cultivate between the spark of an idea when we both have strong Aries and Aries is like, you know, and you have to kind of go like, yeah, honey, you know, it's like with a toddler, you go, you know, when you tell them that you're going to go and you gotta go have a play date, they want to go immediately and you go. No darling, that'll be in a couple of hours. I mean, I see how parents do that sort of setting up expectation or whatever, but it is patience. It is patience. It's been one of the biggest lessons of my life. I'm not a patient. My parent, when I was little, I said at some point I want it to now. And my parents still talk about that. It was like, well, there's tomorrow and there's tonight and there's today. Well, it just very logical percussion, you know? Um, and the cycles like, so, you know, I use a lot of nature cycles when I talk about things. I talk about the lunar cycles and I talk about, you know, in panini yoga we have this ma, which is, um, infinity Life, death, rebirth, and so, You're always going from, you know, if you, we think of infinity as tuning into the cosmos and, you know, and, and it's, if you aren't giving yourself the space, you can't tune into the cosmos because if you're not giving yourself the space, you can't come to that space of source, that space of stillness. You can't come to that space of creation in a sense. And, you know, as I always say, you can't imagine because beyond what you already know and what you've already seen. And so in a sense, you can have this idea, like, I have this idea for this game, which totally was a download. You know, it's not something that I know, it's not something I even know how to execute. Um, which probably happened about 10 years ago. And then last year, the year before it came as a fully downloadable thing. And then, I figured it all out and then it lost its energy again. You know, and it's the same with these astrology books that we're both working on. And so there's things where the, they need a gestation period, you know? So if we go infinity and from infinity, they come down and you bring life to them, you know, so you, you are generating them, you know, and you are bringing form and shape to them, and you can't do it. No one can do it in the way that you do it. No one can do it in the way then anybody else, you know, we all have that. And then you release them out into the world. If you can get the courage to do that, and, you know, and the world is richer for everyone releasing their art out into the world and let the world judge if it's timely, if it's current, if it's wants it, or all of those things. Um, And you know, and as my yoga teacher once said, what you have to do is like, you know, when you've got something like that, a a new idea, you've got to nurture it into the world like you would with this sapling like you would with a young child until such a time as it's mature enough. Think of a tree, you know, it starts as a seed onto, it's mature enough to take care of itself. Mm-hmm. And then it'll bear fruit and it will die, you know, you know, and there'll be the death of a project and all of that. And then there's rebirth in another form. Right. And what I see is one of the gaps in my education was the not being able to hold the patience. You know, that's been a big, big, big learning for me is to be able to kind of go, okay, so what's the. Not the 10 year plan and that, oh, so what's your 10 year plan? Oh, what's your five-year plan? Because it seems so far away and you don't know what to do and all of those things. But it's that I hate that. And that's why I think mentorship is so important to have people who you can, not bring your ideas to too early. Because people can bring their, pragmatism to something before you even know what the former, the shape would be. You know, I remember discussing the Archetype game with somebody who right now will remain nameless, and they said, mm, yeah, but like, who's it for? You know? You know, like a game is about fun. And I'm like, yeah. Okay. It's fun for it to shape shift from one archetype into another and to be able to kind of like, kind of be the nasty king as well as being like, you know, you know, being the most beneficial king. You know, like, yeah, like this. It's fun than that. You know, there's fun to be able to unleash and to imagine you're something else. I mean, I'd be having fun doing that. I think other people would too. You know, it could be a role playing in an area or, you know, you can be this sort of, you know, you can be the nastiest warrior ever. You right? Forever. Oh my God. You could be the, you could be the, you know, the what they called the diplomat, but you could be the really kind of manipulative, seething, diplomat. Um, it's such a curious thing because it is all. Cycle. The other thing I wanted to talk about in terms of where you're seeing this, and I'd like you to talk more about like how in that creative process that the, you're seeing the, the nervous system as being the top level. So that's the fight or the flight or the alerting to, you need to take a little space now, you know, it's like, I've put you down for a nap now. Yeah, yeah. No, I think it's really, um, I mean, it just stands reason, you know, if you, if you're filling your, you know, your, your mind and whatever, with a million distractions and whatever, then it stands to reason, like what's gonna come through with that, you know? Um, and look, we all have a million distractions, but you know, it's sort of purposely going, all right, well, you know, whatever it is, the. Daily practice is a huge thing along these lines where, you know, whether it's all right, I give myself extra time in meditation or you know, journal. Like I'm not, I'm not, you know, I'd love to be able to say I'm a journaler, but I'm not. And I mean, I make a few notes every day and that's it. But that's not really journaling. Um, but uh, you know, whatever it is that can, that you really have the time. Even it's a, if it's a few moments to just, yes. I mean, I think this is the illusion that it needs to be this expansive time and it, and it doesn't need to be an expansive time. I mean, the tools are learning. I think you probably need longer in the beginning, you know, when you're beginning a practice. Mm-hmm. Because you, that's fair. You need to kind of be able to, it's almost like a SVE in a sense. You know, what they do is they grade things with, you know, there's bigger holes and then there's finer and finer. And you know, when you start, that's where you are. You know, it's, I, but you know, I can get into this space now, you know, pretty much like that. Yeah. Whereas, and, and some days I can't and I need longer, and I know I need longer, you know. But if you're doing it regularly, you know, it's like anything, like any practice, it's, it's a craft. No, it's, and I mean, you know, I've, I've always said on here, and otherwise my ideal time of the day, like I do best all day long if I get up between five 30 and six. Because if I. Go into meditation, feeling like I'm in a hurry. You know, it, it's not, you know, I'll still maybe do it and it'll be shorter, but it's not the same quality. And you know what, sometimes I fall asleep like, okay, it happens, you know, but, um, it's very nourishing sleep as it happens. But, uh, that really, it gives me enough space because like, well, if it's a day that the dogs are going hiking, I really need to get them fed before seven 30. So, you know, then if I'm thinking like, damn, I gotta stop because I gotta go feed the dogs, like that doesn't really lead to very effective meditation for the most part. You know what I mean? So, um, and before Dawn is the Emirate fellow, which is called the Ambrosial hours. So like there's a nectar and. I mean, obviously the world is asleep at that point as well, so. Well, someone said to me recently, the veil is thinner. Right. Someone said to me recently and I almost started crying, that it's when, that's the time that the elephants go to drink. Oh yes it is. Yes. Yeah, it is. I mean, how fabulous is that? And I'm such an elephant person, but like, oh, you just got that picture in your mind of like, oh, there they are, you know, it's peaceful and it's cool and they can drink their fill and whatever it is, you know? I love that. I just think that's so beautiful and living in the country, dawn and dusk and, and you know, in the lineage that I follow, they say, do your practice at dawn or do it at dusk. You know, if, if there's something against going, you can't do it at dawn. Cause I say one of the things I hate about the yos is the right again, is cause like nothing interferes with five 13 in the morning, but yourself. Yeah. You know, there's nothing that gets in the way and the animals, that's when the animals star, that's when they go for, to hunt and feed. Right, exactly. And the kangaroos are, you know, they're out then. Yeah, I bet. And, and, and in Australia, like they're out on the roads, you know, they're crossing the roads, they're crossing, seeking food, you know, so, you know, you're quite like, you're more likely to hit an animal at that time. Wow. Yeah. Don't wanna do that. So, you know. Yeah. So it's for your own safety and for their safety as well. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. So it's just really, and you know something, now that I'm thinking about it, I don't necessarily have any great ideas in the morning meditation. Like I, I, if I think about it, That's funny. I never really thought about that before. It's more along the lines of the foundation for me to be my best self, my most effective self, my most imaginative, creative self throughout the day. So that then I can then go and, you know, have my coffee and read the paper and do my workout and blah, blah, blah. Take a shower, and then, then, you know, it just like I'm more in the flow. So the ideas will come, you know, in yoga, science, it's seen that, um, okay, why you do it first thing in the morning is, is because when you sleep, you stir up your subconscious. And as we know, there's 90% of. Of our thoughts. I mean more probably 99, which is in the subconscious. And by moving your body first thing in the morning, and by doing your meditation, what you're doing is, is you're clearing your subconscious, you imagine, is to talk about it like you're taking out your garbage before you begin your day. Mm-hmm. And what it does then by connecting back into source is, is that you're beginning your day clean, you're beginning your day without bringing all of that, you know, the past into the present. And the only place you can create your future from is the present. So if you're coming into your present clean mm-hmm. Then you can create a greater, more expansive, a more beautiful future. Whereas if you're bringing in, you know, Whatever was the he shed, he said, she said from the day before or whatever, you know what, whatever residual stuff is, even, you know, even if you just didn't have a great day and your energy wasn't great, you know, I mean, cuz all of that's everything compounds. Like I'm a real believer in, you know, that whole concept of that's a daily practice is, is what you're doing is, is you're compounding what's useful or are you compounding what isn't? Mm-hmm. And you know, and we get to start fresh in every moment, but we get to start fresh every day. Yeah. And that's what you're doing. Like, that's why you are this extraordinary human being that you are. And likewise, it's interesting too, cuz this was something I thought about for a while. Um, just the, you know, the concept of lighting a candle and or lighting some incense when you. Meditate. And you know, I, we, under normal circumstances when we're not under construction, have this sort of, I don't even know what to call it, it's like an anti room that's sort of, it's like a little, a little part of our bedroom that's just like a little, it's, it's part of the bedroom, but it's just like this little area and there's an armchair and you know, this is a little alcove. Yeah, alcove. Thank you. And um, you know, we kind of, it's like a big, you know, comfy armchair and, you know, heating pad and blankets and so, and it faces out to the yard, so it's kind of nice, you know. So that was sort of, we call it the meditation chair and um, we can't use it right now cuz. The way, you know, the mess in our room. And so, and I could always do this because like if normally I get up before Garon and you know, I'm done before he gets up and uses, but if we get at the same time he gets the meditation chair, cuz you know, he really needs the heating pad for his back, blah, blah, blah. So, you know, but I have this room that I'm in now and I have, um, oh. So I was, you know, I was, felt like, well I can't really light stuff in the room if he's sleeping, you know, so, um, and I, you know, so, so he was in the chair. I'd come meditate here, but I've really now worked into the habit. Like I have this special shawl, you know, kind of like a ceremonial shawl that I put on and I. Light the candle, and I light the incense. And you know, it's just kind of funny because there's some warnings that come in. I'm like, Ugh, too lazy. But then I make myself do it and it's like, oh, it's just now that much more of an experience, you know? Well, it's creating the context. Yeah. And it's also in your brain too. Yeah. Yeah. Well that's, well, that's what context does, you know, if you move yourself into the garden, you're in a different context than you are if you're in the bathroom, you know, it's, yeah. It's different, and, and it's so subtle, isn't it? Like it's, it's, you know, it's like subtle. Yeah, it is. It is. And it, you know, there's always room for getting on the mask, you know, it's all teeny, teeny, teeny things. No, it's true. And, and, you know, I think I've, I've always said this, we've always said that it's, it's, it's, um, Because I'm sure if you don't do any of this, it seems insurmountable, but you know, it's, so much of it is just the habit aspect. It's like, okay, then your body knows it's that time of day. Or if I just, you know, get up and pad into the kitchen for my coffee right away without taking that time, it's not gonna feel right. You know? Yes. Yeah. Yes, yes. I mean, and, and these rituals are so, they anchor us. Yeah. You know, they, and that's what they do is they anchor your day and they anchor yourself, you know, and, you know, and I mean, and I work with people who work in the world and who also have businesses and they're trying to create things, you know, and they want to create something to put it out in the world is their contribution. And, and again, if you. And what they're constantly struggling with is the external stuff, you know, about, oh wow, that didn't go as I wanted. Or, you know, this person or this person or this whatever. And, and you go, okay, well come back to, okay, so what was your part in that? You know, what was your expectation on it? What was your prepo presupposition in that? What was your, um, you know, your bias in it? You know, how were you, you know, what agenda were you going with and how, and, and when you surrendered, what was your experience? And I do think that a daily practice is a moment of surrender every day. You know? And if you start your day surrender if, well then, you know, the reality is is it opens up something. Yeah. You know? And. And it's also it, I mean like, it comes back to the analogy, which we hear again and again and again of the, you know, on the airplane you put the oxygen mask on yourself first. Yeah, yeah. Yep. You know, and it's super simple. You know, for me, my morning routine always begins, I always begin with, um, ginger and lemon, you know, warm water, you know, that's the first thing. And then uhhuh, it can change what's after that. But generally it's getting on that mat. And some mornings, as I say, it can be for, you know, nine minutes and some days, you know, it's much longer. Yeah, yeah. So you have that, the water before you meditate. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And fresh ginger are, are with me, you know, fresh ginger, fresh ginger, lemon. Warm washing. Yeah, I do, I do lemon and warm water, but it'd be nice to do the ginger. I, I love ginger. Well, I get up and it's, it's an Ayurvedic thing. I'm sure. I'm sure. That's where I picked it up from. So I get up, I put on the kettle, I go for a pee, I make my ginger, and then I get on the mat. Yeah. And the days that I don't, you know, the days that I don't get on the mat, if I'm traveling or something happens, or I'm staying at somebody's house or some, you know, I mean, I can have two days probably where, and then I'd just kind of go on and No, I have to, I need to come back to me. Right. You know, so I always say to people, don't give up because you missed a day. You know, like in my experience, it's always, like, I always say I'm an almost daily, you know? And it's, it's, and it's definitely far more days than it's not like it's, oh yeah. I'm sure. Yeah. I mean, You know, a hundred percent. My friend was just telling me that she was, um, she had to go on a business trip to San Francisco She's just started this crazy new job. So she went to San Francisco and she was gonna meet with this person who I guess is her boss. And so, my friend, is, you know, she's a real jock, she gets up early I think she had one day there to, you know, kind of do the rounds with this person who was observing her. So, she had gotten up, she'd gotten a big hike and done this and that. And so, she's kind of waiting. And the woman was just like, oh no, I, I have a delicate nervous system and I have to meditate, and so I can't meet you till 10. And, this is this whole thing where you know, not that hard for her to fucking get up and do it so that you can do your work with this person who's coming up to San Francisco to be with you. Like it was such a crazy thing. I think that's an interesting thing because there's a book that I read not so long ago, I think I like some guy called Sharma and talked about the 5:00 AM club. Mm-hmm. And, and then I heard from somebody else that, and it may be the same guy who was saying that the reason people aren't getting things done is they're spending too much time on self-care. Yeah. That can happen. I think it can happen. I think it very often happens when people begin on a spiritual journey. I mean, there's probably, both of these topics are probably a whole other podcast, episode in itself. So when you start, you begin to feel so much better and so much. In your body, when you've been living your life, and your mind, and you know, and, and even if you are a runner or a gym junkie, you're still living your life in your mind. You know, just because you're exercising your body does not mean that you're connected with your body. Certainly. Um, and I'm saying that and it's a strong opinion, but it's absolutely what I know to be true. Yes. But when you come back and really kind of become, to be a self sensory human being are, let's go. First of all, you're a sensory human being, which is where you're beginning to realize, oh my God, this is, there's so much going on inside. There's so much going on outside, there's so many sensations. Like, think in terms of Caroline Elliot and her existential kink. So there's a point where you kind of become fascinated, you know, with your own energy. You know, the way you've gone to retreats and you've gone to things where I've gone as well. And people are like, oh, oh my God, did you feel a shift in energy? You know, you just gotta go like, sweet, divine mother of God, and they want to tell you every story of every, everything of every shift. And what have meant to me was, and, and whatever. And you can go down that rabbit hole. Absolutely. And that's navel gazing. It's virtual bypassing. It's what are the other terms, you know? Boring. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. As my brother would say, here's four San school called someone who cares. You know? Right. Yeah. It's a good one. Oh my God. We're here to be who we are as we're doing what we're doing. And I certainly would be guilty where I've gone into imposter zone and haven't published things and have been afraid of kind of putting stuff out there in the world because of, oh, what will my sister think? Or what will somebody else think? Or they'll all take what's going on for me in my head and my body, my whole thing personally, which is not about them. And, and I think that is a thing that, we are here to do our do as we're being who we are and to become more of who we are as it's unfolding in the practicing of our craft, in the practicing of our art, in the practicing of our professional education or whatever it is, as being a mother. You know, you're learning in every moment. And it's like, it's a way of living. You know, it's a way of doing as you're being, yeah. You know, it's like my whole thing of, you know, your life's the compound interest on your daily practice, and our world focuses on what you're doing, and of course you have to do something because you've got to provide value even if you're a trust fund baby, you've gotta provide value. But it's who you're being as you're doing that, who are you being as you're being the accountant? Who are you being as you're being the tax agent? Who are you being as you're being the person who gives that fines to people for over staying there, meter like, who are you being as you're being, you know, the doctor? Who are you being, and let's say the doctor, are you, you know, the pharmaceutical company comes and, are you being lazy and, and not prescribing the best things? And you know, and giving people the shortcut. Are you being in your own integrity and your own values good question. And are you being kind as you go about doing what you do? Are you pardon? Kind? Yes. The most important word in the whole English language. Great place to I. Yes, I agree. So thank you for listening. If you enjoyed this conversation, please tell all your friends. And we'd love you to leave a review because that's how the things. Gathering momentum and ignite conversations. Please, please let us know if there's anything you'd like us to talk about. This podcast has been sponsored by being creation and envision by Nicole. Foods. Use the discount code. Oh, WW. P O D. Just for you, older, wiser, and Wilder listeners to get 10% off a power piece with Nicole. And. Or an Astro session with Eilish. So that's O w w P O D as in owl pod. Thank you for being here. You can find the comb on Instagram as Nicole and foods. And her website is envision by Nicole foods.com. You can find Eilish on Instagram at Eilish bushy. And her website. Eilish. Thank you to AOL. For the beautiful music. This track is called, bridging the gap. And you can find a. On Spotify and also, um, Apple music. Thank you for listening.